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I don’t leave my cabin except for driving into Beaverton, walking to the island to retrieve my mail, or visiting friends at the lake. I feel uncomfortable walking around the lake for various reasons, but stares and confrontations rank higher up the list than getting injured on a hike without cell phone coverage. I rather stay home, walk up and down the stairs, swing a few weights, enjoying my health and fitness time. I live alone by circumstance, preferring to have a loving partner to share the cabin with.

Cautious optimism helps manage my expectations, but that’s a diplomatic way of saying, “I don’t yet see a way out from the woods.” The COVID-19 pandemic has exasperated my enthusiasm for sociability when it involves seeking relationships. My track record in the relationship department is riddled with failures, relying on unrealistic expectations to experience that human touch. Given the circumstances facing me, I’ve all but given up on cupids helping me find love.

While it’s doubtful that I’ll find a romantic connection in the external world anytime soon, the study of mathematics, in concert with learning the Python language, satisfies my need for instant gratification, like baking a coffee cake does for me in the kitchen. I honestly believed moving downtown would present a new chapter in my life to write; instead, I learned the lake isn’t ready to let me go.

Fall and winter are not gentle on my emotional wellbeing, pushing my patience to the extreme limits of my abilities to remain focused and cope. When that happens, poor food choices and bad behavior ensue, and I dutifully pay the consequences of my actions by pacing the cabin and climbing the stairs to burn off the unneeded carbs, sweating out the toxins from my indulgences.  💋 👠

Kendra, out.

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