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Turbulence Reigns Over Me

by | Mar 1, 2022 | Purgatory

Turbulence Reigns Over Me

The lake has a way of distracting me from reaching milestones in my life, and I’m okay with that—within reason. Christmas time has dissipated into the aether while Springtime cometh to taunt me.

“I don’t belong here, but here I am, a reluctant constituent.”


I fell. Hard onto the kitchen floor, figuratively speaking. I’m not sure how to write about this feeling I’ve been experiencing since a moment of clarity dropped me to my knees. I don’t belong here, but here I am, a reluctant constituent of the lake.

Interior facts

I need the love of my city and community. I need to find my way back home. I don’t want to perish under dubious circumstances in the woods.

Springtime, for me, is a season for the reconciliation of lessons learned from winter and the launching of fresh beginnings.

I will make another attempt to relocate back to my city.

Aloneness at the lake seeps into the crevices of living day to day, but gifts from Gaia remind me to practice mindfulness. I am mindful of my Japanese origins, but I’m grateful for living in America. Born queer and proud in Tokyo, my journey continues to exhilarate me, taking me to the places and spaces that inspire me to evolve as a decent, compassionate human being.

I look upon my path as a route to enlightenment. Still, I do not obsess over ever reaching my destination, for I prefer to visit the plateaus and vistas, engendering connections made with receptive souls. This is My Tao.

Turbulence continues to reign over me…

But I’m not alone in fighting against oppressive behaviors fueled by ignorance and deplorable stupidity from authoritative figureheads.

Oregon is a sanctuary compared to the states passing laws to punish our kind for living as our authentic selves. It’s despicable conduct, leaving me wary of humanity as it carves a trench through my head, taking a piece of me.

I don’t like it.

Take a Piece of Me

Take a piece of me
Hold within your soul
The peace it may bring
It’s free if you chose it
Secure it close to heart

If by chance
It adheres like morning dew
We shall sail together
Breathe air new to us
Conceive the inconceivable

Hold it
Feel it
Hear it

But don’t let it fly away
Let it come into your world
Touching the child deep within

It is no illusion
Only too real

As sure as the smell of daffodils
It will keep you warm tonight
Take it now forever
Watch it grow
Nourish it
It won’t fly away

Kendra, out.


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