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Sprigs of Tea

by | Mar 11, 2022 | Observations

Sprigs of Tea

When you come out, you quickly discover who your true friends are. The remaining ones are the first cut; of those, the list will continue to disperse into the aether. By the time you see the end of the list, you may have found a new tribe of community—hopefully.

“Affirmation: I have the power to change the outcome of any given moment or situation.

Twigs and Tea

I am a twig on two lands divided
Caught between two distant winds of life
The spirit of the red circle on white
Like blood on silk its way is honor
This Eastern wind negotiates swiftly
Before one eyelash can touch the other
The sword’s point rests upon your nose

Blink again
When the twig breaks in two
We shall drink some tea

Interior facts

“You’re dead to me” is a phrase I’m familiar with. Perhaps, in my youth, this type of remark would fuel unsavory behavior, but being in my sixties, such a comment has a next-to-none effect on my joy.

Older, wiser, and thicker skin gives me a protective layer against derogatory situations involving societal skirmishes.

👠

Besides, I don’t have the time during my thriving life’s schedule for interactions with imbecilic miscreants.

Let the past trickle away, circling the drain to oblivion. That works for me because my life has been engaged in one enormous change. If there’s any constant in my life, it is the earnest work of transformation. As I see them, allowing things, thoughts, and possessions that no longer serve a purpose or generate momentum are castaways. It’s a sad day when they include friends and family.

There’s no joy in being the focal point when the contents of your immediate world diminish—methodically, ruthlessly, and without remorse. The truth and loyalty that permeates unconditional friendship is a rarity. When such a person comes into your life, nurture her with unconditional love, but not at the expense of compromising your authentic self. Allow no one to take that away from you.

My mother taught me when she was raising me that there are only two people on the planet that I could truly count on for help, her and myself. My beloved mentor and mother crossed to the other side in 2017, making me the remaining person I can depend on for unconditional support and love.

The constructs of aloneness and loneliness are often used interchangeably. My aloneness is intrinsic to my psyche—the way I’m wired—yet I’ve no intention of forever experiencing loneliness in my life.

My special someone is out there, and I will find her.

Maintaining my resiliency…

When a Cis friend told me the time wasn’t right for her to read an article I’d written on the internal conflicts of gender identity, the quality of the friendship required scrutiny. When a few months had passed, I reached out to her via messaging to ask if she was ghosting me. Her reply was prefaced with deadnaming and gender identity slurs.

The past is history, the future is a mystery, the moment in hand is real. Live it wholly, thoroughly, and with intent. My confidence level is achieved when I realize I own the moment.

Affirmation: I have the power to change the outcome of any given moment or situation.

I don’t extend my trust to fence walkers because they can easily switch sides. The center medium—in my opinion—is not a worthy place from which to engender trust and confidence. To the right or left, inform others of your position and commitment. When you walk the fence, you can’t be held accountable…um…plausible deniability, perhaps?

If a burgeoning friendship necessitates me to consistently initiate contact to cultivate, then I’m inclined to discharge the acquaintance from my inner circle. Brutal, I know.

I traverse my life journey with enthusiasm. The deeper I dive into my central core, greeting the darkness that lies below a modicum of civility, I plot a decisive course to victory. Decades ago, I knew exactly the kind of woman I’d want in my life, so I became that woman, and my metamorphosis exceeded my expectations.

Looking outward for validation and certainty causes me anguish because it makes me feel less reliant on the strength of my personality and character. In this respect, is the act of coming out a form of asking for validation?

Kendra, out.

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